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Spyware | Chaos Theory | The Siege of Walter Parks

Spyware
It's Not What You Think

Someone has just released a virus capable of infecting the most advanced computer of all — the human brain. Fortunately, it has been discovered by a brilliant computer programmer. Unfortunately, that programmer is Eddy Pending.

Eddy isn’t your typical criminal hacker with a dark personal past. He’s far more messed up than that. Eddy’s past is a maze of madness,bizarre family members, and truly terrible life choices. So, when the Men in Rose Coloured Glasses show up at his door armed with business cards that can kill on sight, Eddy knows the right thing to do. Run. Unfortunately for Eddy, that’s just not going to work. So he might just have to fight back instead..

"...the tension-ridden tale progresses... until its stellar ending...
A gleefully intricate computer tale with a satirical bent, swift pace, and modest hero.”
— Kirkus Reviews


"Spyware is a timely satire that is entertaining and thought-provoking in equal measure ... its satirical edge is on point, raising the question of whether this novel has figured out what might be causing current troubles in politics and media.”
— Forward Reviews

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Chaos Theory
A Feel Good Book About the End of the World

Fifty-years-ago, the United States created the most powerful weapon of all time, capable of destroying not just the Earth, but the entire Universe - then managed to lose it. Now, it's been found, by a thirteen-year-old boy, named Alex Graham, who decides to sell it on eBay.

As a result, Alex finds himself the target of US Intelligence, foreign governments, international arms dealers, fundamentalist Christians, an insane United States President and, of course, Islamic terrorists. His only hope is a CIA Agent, named Charlie Draper.

The problem is, Charlie is a broken man. Tormented by the death of his wife and daughter, Charlie has stopped caring much about anything. When Alex is orphaned by German Neo-Nazi soldiers-of-fortune, the two are thrown together on a desperate, dangerous and epic journey to find the meaning of life, the universe and everything and, hopefully, some half decent reason to keep it all going.

It's the end of the world as we know it in this fine Dr. Strangelove-ian satire about the mad search for a doomsday device. Robertson's self-billed "feel good story about the end of the world ... is exceedingly clever and entertaining and, at times, spot-on loony.... Robertson is adept at balancing the story's farcical and gritty elements. The book's violence is sudden and punishing, which underscores the high stakes and invests the story with a gravitas that makes its absurdist passages even funnier....there are also some sublimely silly passages whose deadpan musings recall the late Douglas Adams. Readers will likely be sorry to see this book (and the world) come to a conclusion.
— Kirkus Media


Who knew the end of the world could be so much fun?
... When the news all seems bad in the world, Colin Robertson's raucous farce, Chaos Theory, a "feel good story about the end of the world," puts an amusingly absurd spin on heavy affairs. His variety pack of eccentric characters--terrorists, politicians, and scientists--are sketched out in witheringly funny detail alongside a fast-moving plot. Despite the daunting premise, there's no fear in seeing this book through to the end (of the world).
— Forward Reviews

 

The Siege of Walter Parks

Walter Parks's life has fallen apart. Until a few days ago, he had it all — a beautiful wife, baby girl, home in the suburbs and a not-so-beautiful, but reasonably well paid job as a pencil pusher at a pen company. Then Walter learned how quickly "having it all" can turn into "losing it all".

So, when the bank decided to foreclose on his home, Walter Parks decided to simply say "no". Well, say "no" and turn his home into a fortified castle not seen since the dayscodpieces were considered sensible outerwear. Thus begins the ever escalating war that is, The Siege of Walter Parks. In this post-modern comedy of errors, some grammatical, one man shows that an act of shortsighted idiocy may be the only reasonable response to an irrational world.


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It has been called "the greatest debut novel this author has ever written"...

"That's nice." – the Author's wife


Short Fiction

Critical Mass (Amazon Kindle) (free PDF download)
In a far out future, where Earth has finally become a critical success--in that it is now entirely populated by art critics. There are no jobs left for humans to do but appreciate art and write pithy articles about it. Even the creation of the art itself has been subsumed by a massive super computer, named Hamlet, that floats in the sky as a second moon. Now Hamlet has stopped working and it's up to one man, Dan, to fix it. If he doesn't there will be nothing left for man to do, and life itself will be a critical failure.


Dumb Terminal (Amazon Kindle) (free PDF download)
Short fiction, set in the future (more or less) where everyone is online all of the time. Until today, that is. Suddenly there’s no internet. People are lost in the middle of New York City, incapable of fending for themselves. What follows is sort of odyssey to find themselves or at least a working bus route back home.

About the Author

Colin Robertson is originally from Toronto, Canada. Determined not to be ruined by success, he decided to become an indie author in 2012 with the publication of his novel, The Siege of Walter Parks. He is the author of several short stories and screenplays and currently lives in Culver City, California.
Like Me on Facebook | Amazon

Winner Indie Fab Award 2015
Bronze Medal Science Fiction

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